Has Hollywood rediscovered patriotism

Question

Is the three-point landing a cinematic cliche?

Yes.

Terror at 12A

Over at Den of Geek, Mark Harrison takes to task the 12A certification that The Woman in Black received and wonders a) what went through the studio's collective mind and b) does letting in the moppets hurt the film because they won't belt up?

The latter question is easily resolved by my view that anyone who chatters in the cinema should be put in the stocks. As to the former, I've had strong views on this ever since I resaw The Masque of the Red Death (1961) on cable in the States and had to hunt under the couch for my jaw when I saw that it was rated G.  This is the equivalent to a U certificate in Britain and places the Vincent Price horror masterpiece on the same footing as Bambi.

I am convinced that the ratings/certification system must use one of those on-line forms that populates a spreadsheet that then tallies up the points and spits out the answer (X for blood, Y for gore, Z for breasts, etc.).  That is the only way that a film that has very little sex and violence yet is one long white-knuckle festival can get such a low pass.

It's the same with The Woman in Black.  This is the first truly scary film, as opposed to nauseating, that I've seen in years.  When that face appears in the window behind Daniel Radcliffe, I want to take a page from my six-year old Dalek-fearing self and hide behind the seats.  And it gets a 12A?  Did anyone watch this thing?  It's  good, old-fashioned nightmare fuel.   The only reason, aside from lobbying by the studio, must be because it doesn't have any of the bits that throw up the red flags.  Never mind that the whole film is one big red flag.  

That's where these systems fall down.  They aren't intended as real indicators of the appropriateness of the film's content nor are they meant as a way for parents to make informed judgements.  They're a way to deflect criticism and dull outrage.  A film can be as corrosive as acid on public morals as inappropriate for teenagers to see as pornography, but it doesn't matter because it has its little vetting code on the marquee.

This isn't a call for censorship.  By no means.  I can think of many films that I've enjoyed that would be regarded objectively as pretty strong meat, but I've always preferred it when it's appropriate for the audience and the audience knows what it's getting.  What I am objecting to is the mechanical nature of the ratings system and how it takes no notice of the content of the film itself.  The old Hays office and British Board of Censors may have often been prudish and a little silly, but they at least paid attention to the films.  An Island of Lost Souls would easily get the same rating as Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein with the check list system used now, but the BBOC in the '30s quite rightly pointed out that the former skirted too close to depicting bestiality and banned it for twenty years.  Today, it's available in Britain (which is fine), but it just gets a UK-PG.  I guess today, bestiality rules okay,

I'm waiting for 2022 when The Wicker Man gets shown on Nickelodeon.  At lunchtime.

TCM remembers 2011

Green Lantern dims

Whatculture looks at 50 reasons Green Lantern sucked.

The Master Mystery

Most people know Harry Houdini as the greatest magician and escape artist of the 20th century–possibly even without that qualification.  Even today, 85 years after his death, his name is a household word, but what most people have forgotten is that he was the true equivalent of a superstar and was as active in the new medium of film as he was on the stage.

Over at Ephemeral Isle, we're commemorating this with a run of one of his most successful serials: The Master Mystery (Click the link to see the trailer and a list of the weekly episodes posted so far).

One thing to bear in mind while watching is that Houdini used these serials to showcase his escapologist credentials, so all of his getting out of tight spots are as real as the demands of filming would allow.

50 Worst Film Adaptations

And we mean "I can't feel my legs!" bad.

Did Close Encounters of the Third Kind create post-modernism?

Mr Spielberg, we'd like a few words with you, please.

If so, Steven Spielberg has a lot of explaining to do.

Costumes and copyright

More powerful than a locomotive, but not a lawsuit.

Whenever I watch a DVD, I avoid the commentaries and the "making of" extras unless the film in question is at least 20 years old.   With one that came out a few months ago, I fully expect everyone involved to still be selling the product and therefore watching every word they say on the disc while the buffer of passing years means that we're more likely to hear how the brilliant, insightful opening sequence with its kinetic improvisation was actually due to director having to deal with a lead actor who showed up for work drunk as a lord and that the shooting script had been eaten by weasels.

Such is the case with Superman in the 21st century.  Both in the comics and the upcoming Superman feature Man of Steel, the Last Son of Krypton's wardrobe is getting a makeover with the red trunks gone and the whole thing looking more like body armour.   The film makers and comic book publishers claim that it's all about "rebooting" the series and "reimagining" the character for a new generation in a way that will revitalise the franchise, make Superman more relevant, give everyone on the Isle of Man a puppy, whiten teeth with fewer calories, etc.

Jeans?  Good grief.

Let's never speak of this.

Not exactly.  It turns out that Warner Bros. is facing defeat in a lawsuit with the heirs of Superman's creators Siegel and Shuster regaining the rights to various elements of the character; the effect of which is that if they want to continue using the original costume, they'll have to pay royalties, which to a studio executive is like asking a vampire to step into a tanning booth.  Did Warner say to themselves, "Superman's costume is as iconic as Uncle Sam's and for decades we've resisted demands by bored, self-indulgent artists to change it (and the one time we relented, it was a really bad idea), so to maintain integrity, we'll pay the royalties."  No, they were never that high.

Instead, they took the cheap out and changed the costume.

What annoys me about this isn't the change, but the hypocrisy.  Eon Productions faced a similar problem back in the seventies when Ian Fleming's script collaborator on Thunderball claimed the rights to SPECTRE and other story elements.  Not wanting to face a shakedown, Eon dumped Blofeld et al, which was their right, but at least they were honest enough to admit in public the reason why.

Just a matter of money.

The other thing that annoys me is that it's a perfect example of how the copyright laws need to be changed.  You can't hold a patent on the most vital technology for even 20 years, but the rights to a fictional character's tights can be locked up in what is effectively perpetuity.  This allows those involved to rack in profits on the work of people long dead without contributing anything by themselves, muck about with the material in the most cynical of ways, and allow books, characters and films to languish and die unread and unseen in copyright prison.  As a writer, I fully expect my rights to my works to be protected and that my daughter can get a reasonable cut after I'm gone, but should someone I've never heard of be cashing a cheque that I worked for 60 years after I've shuffled off the mortal coil and be able to make works unknown because no one dares republish them?  No, thank you.

This is definitely a job for Superman.

Cinematic British accents

In America they haven't spoken it for years.

Moviereviews.co.uk looks at the ten worst and best British accents in cinema.

It's an odd thing about accents.  A bad American accent, such as in Battle Beneath the Earth or Carry on Cowboy, is often hilarious, but a bad British accent is merely painful.  I suppose that's why listening to a BBC luvvie affecting a Mockney accent puts my teeth on edge.

B-movie title generator

Coming up with ghastly titles has never been easier thanks to this online generator.

Welcome

Hello, good day, and welcome to the first post of Reel Ranting.  We're just starting, so the style and content are going to take some time to settle down, but if you enjoy cinema (especially the geekier variety), screen writing, MST3K, and eviscerating reviews, then this is the place for you.

So, let's get started.